25 Random thoughts (plus a few more) from my mate Paul...

I Believe God created The British Isles for one Purpose only, To be a home to the English. So we can annoy everyone in Europe but not be part of Europe !

I know most people believe Black is my favorite colour, Its not ! But it will have to do until they can find a darker colour.

I don't smile much, I obviously have nothing to smile about.

I think God also gave the world Prune's as an apology to the over 60's

I know we colonised Australia for some other purpose but believe this was lie fabricated by the goverment. It was really colonised for English, Scotts
and Welsh people with a sense of humour to go and live and not disrupt the well ordered rule of the Filthy Rich. Who then mostly sent their second sons off
to New Zealand.

I to,like Garf. Also prefer walking to driving. Probably because i never took a driving test or have a license

I think behind every great invention stands an Englishman, Scottsman or Welshman ! Sorry mobile BBQ's don't count Garf

I have a 2 Inch scar across one finger where i didn't pay attention and put a chisel across the finger. F**k it looks cool !

I always thought M&M's where the dislexic's version of S&M ?

I want to know if the (UK) BBC Radio 2 news reader called Finella Fudge's name is real or is someone taking the piss ?

I have Welsh, German, Irish as well as English blood flowing through my veins. If you don't believe me i will post a video of my 3rd cousin
Shaun playing cricket in his lederhosen drinking his Guinness! But only if you ask nicely.

I can be very Tactless at times. But i am very honest. So if ladies, you have an arse like a Toffee Apple with 2 sticks. Don't ask me if you
bum looks big in that dress as i will give the most honest answer i can give !

I reckon Bruce Dickinson (Iron Maiden) is the the cleverest man in the Rock Metal music industry. Made loads of records written a couple of books
even flys his own jet airliner. He was also a world class Fencer ! He holds the world record for surrounding 250 sheep with a 4ft high fence in 3 hrs 15 seconds.
(Ok i lied about the last bit)

I Believe Europe is over there, not here !

I went to school with every intention of Eventually leaving and becoming an upstanding pillar of the local community.

I think to much, Do to Little, The fact i'm typing this proves my point.

I think we should start more Penal Colonies, they work ! Look at Australia

I wonder do cows think 'Those Humans are sick. They drink the milk i produce for my kiddies !'

I want to be a Vampire. We all aspire to something. Whats wrong with my choice ?

I know spiders are good for the garden. Then why are they in my house ? Do they have a death wish !

I find it Ironic that people travel all over the world on holiday yet have probably never walked further than 100 yards from their homes or the side of the road.

I think Gandalf is cool, Yoda just looks like an animated Bogey !

I am well known to be miserable bastard. Thats is a false alligation ! I just don't find most people that funny.

I think Goth chicks look rather nice, Now Japanese Goth chicks look fantastic, but it always is in the back of mind, that little niggly thought..... What the F**k
are they gonna look like in their 60's. Its a Horror story waiting to Happen !

I do have a sense of humour its just hard to find it sometimes !




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The ones im not going to add

I being English understand America reasonably well, They are the only British colony that failed ! They are so insecure about this that they have to pat themselves
on the back at as often as possible , while they drag everybody else down to their level.

I have a theory why so many Australians go back packing and work in Bars across Europe and the world. Its a conspiracy, Australia wants to rule the world ......

I will not call Football Soccer! Football was played in England in one form or another. Hundreds of years before America was discovered (again) by Europeans. So USA can
call American football something else instead, like Rugby for Wimps !

I also find French animal rights Activists rather Bizarre. They shout and scream about Whales Dolphins being killed (rightly so) but they don't bat an eyelid when Their
Striking workers burn 200 sheep to death in a truck coming of the Ferry from England.